By Paul Butler and Laura McGill
We build the capability and well-being of leaders who will successfully run the organizations of the future.
November 20, 2024
As Pat prepared for his first one-on-one with his new manager, he expected the usual routine: check-ins, project updates, and budget discussions. The lack of structure in past meetings often led to unfocused conversations, leaving Pat feeling that his time and goals weren’t fully valued. Pat also often felt his previous manager never cared about getting to know him personally.
But with his new General Manager, everything changed. From their first meeting, she clarified that this wasn’t just about status updates. She took time to get to know Pat and encouraged him to pause daily, reflect, and think big, including his future aspirations.
Their one-on-ones became a safe space for deep, collaborative conversations about how to lead more effectively, think creatively, and set bold goals. The GM helped Pat become a better leader and a more thoughtful collaborator, urging him to draw on her team’s strengths and work together toward shared success. Over time, these meetings transformed from something Pat dreaded into a source of inspiration.
Pat’s story highlights that when leaders are more thoughtful about their approach to one-on-one meetings, they can unlock their power. Research shows that with a more intentional approach, employee engagement and productivity increase while costs and turnover decrease.
Conversely, the implications of not being intentional about one-on-one meetings are enormous: Dr. Steven Rogelberg, organizational psychologist, leading expert on how to fix meetings, and author of Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings, estimates that 200 million 1:1 meetings happen every day in the world, at an investment of $1.2 billion. With these numbers, the stakes are high. Leaders can’t afford to ignore the pitfalls of these meetings.
Here are five pitfalls that often derail one-on-one meetings—and how to avoid them:
1. Cancellations and Rescheduling
Frequent cancellations or rescheduling sends the message that these meetings aren’t a priority. When leaders do this regularly, it erodes trust and can make employees feel undervalued. According to Gallup, employees who receive regular feedback from their managers are 3.5 times more likely to be engaged at work. By prioritizing one-on-ones and scheduling minimally twice monthly, leaders reinforce their commitment to open communication and foster stronger connections with their team. Contrary to what leaders may think, research shows maintaining a regular schedule of one-on-ones saves them time.
2. Focusing only on Project Updates
When one-on-ones are limited to project updates, they become transactional rather than transformational. While progress updates are necessary, meetings should also focus on long-term strategy, career development, growth opportunities, and leadership challenges. According to Zenger/Folkman, employees are 2.7 times more likely to be highly engaged when their managers hold regular one-on-ones beyond immediate tasks. Managers should ask questions like, “What can you do more of, less of, or differently?” to encourage innovative thinking and personal growth.
3. Lack of Preparation and Follow-Through
Unprepared meetings lead to unproductive conversations. Both the manager and employee should come up with a clear purpose and goals for the meeting. These do not have to be cumbersome --- just agreed on. A Harvard Business Review study found that regular, well-prepared one-on-ones can improve overall team productivity by up to 25%, since they allow for alignment on goals and the early identification of potential issues. Proper preparation ensures that the discussion remains focused and meaningful. Without consistent follow-through, even productive meetings may lose their value. Revisiting action items and discussions from previous meetings ensures accountability and progress.
4. Avoidance of Difficult Conversations
One-on-ones provide the perfect setting for addressing tough issues, yet many managers avoid difficult conversations. Avoiding these moments stifles personal growth for both the employee and their manager and limits the potential for meaningful change and improved leadership skills. Research shows that managers who conduct frequent one-on-one meetings are more likely to catch and solve issues before they escalate, which can reduce costly project delays by 15-20%. Addressing complex topics head-on fosters stronger relationships and helps resolve challenges more effectively.
5. Being Apathetic to The Whole Person
Authentically asking employees how they are doing and showing genuine care for their well-being during one-on-one meetings is vital for several reasons, supported by research and practice. Authentic leadership and regular check-ins are key to increasing employee engagement, reducing turnover, and fostering a sense of belonging. Research by BetterUp, (do people know who they are) shows that leaders who show up authentically—by creating an open, empathetic environment where employees feel heard and valued—see a 140% increase in employee engagement and a 54% reduction in turnover. ________________________________________
Conclusion
Pat’s story shows how one-on-one meetings can transform from dreaded tasks into powerful tools for leadership development, collaboration, and innovation. By avoiding common pitfalls like focusing solely on project updates, canceling meetings, and avoiding difficult conversations, managers can use one-on-ones to inspire their teams and drive meaningful change. Prioritizing preparation, follow-up and deeper, more empathetic conversations will unlock the potential of one-on-ones, turning them into a space where managers, leaders, and their teams can grow their business as they grow professionally.
Paul Butler is the Founder and President of The Executive Development Group, a firm dedicated to building strategic leadership capabilities in individuals and their teams. Paul’s corporate experience includes senior-level sales, marketing, and human resources positions with Pfizer and Procter & Gamble (Gillette). Paul is the co-author of “Think-to-Win Unleashing the Power of Strategic Thinking.” He holds a master’s degree in leadership and organizational Learning from The George Washington University
Laura McGill is an accomplished executive coach known for her ability to blend corporate leadership experience with life coaching expertise. Her coaching philosophy centers on the belief that personal and professional success are interconnected; she is deeply passionate about coaching the whole person to unlock their full potential. Laura holds a Bachelor of Science in Business Management from Providence College, MBA from Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute and her coaching certification from Chopra.
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